RENEGADE GARDENER™
The lone voice of horticultural reason
Don’t DO That Archive
This series is my humble effort to point out the common blunders made during the zigzag course of developing one’s gardening expertise. If I admonish, I will try to do so politely; if I embarrass anyone, I apologize in advance, and if you disagree, I’m sure I’ll hear about it.
- Dear Nursery Industry: Don’t make bizarre plants just for the hell of it.
- Don’t be afraid to tear out old shrubs.
- Don’t blow grass clippings or rake leaves out into the street.
- Don’t build a stone, boulder, concrete or timber retaining wall on a slope without building it level.
- Don’t circle trees with stuff.
- Don’t contact a landscape company, engage them to bid a project that includes design, plant selection and installation…
- Don’t cut little circles into your lawn and plant flowers in them.
- Don’t cut live branches off evergreen trees!
- Don’t design straight lines into the landscape.
- Don’t divide and conquer.
- Don’t fertilize houseplants in winter.
- Don’t fertilize perennials, trees, or shrubs after August 15th.
- Don’t forget white blooms!
- Don’t install plastic landscape edging improperly.
- Don’t plant evergreen trees without regard to mature size.
- Don’t purchase an anvil pruner.
- Don’t put mulch down around perennials until June 15.
- Don’t raise the soil level over tree roots.
- Don’t stomp around in, dig up plants from, or rototill garden beds, in April.
- Don’t trim hedges into a “V” shape.
- Don’t use rock as a ground cover around trees and shrubs.
- Don’t use wood chips or shredded bark as mulch in perennial beds.
- Don’t water your garden beds with a lawn sprinkler.
- Don’t add too much water when mixing a batch of concrete.
- Don’t assume the tree you plant was properly dug at the nursery.
- Don’t attempt to grow plants from seed without investing in grow lights.
- Don’t become emotionally attached to your hosta.
- Don’t build a wallstone retaining wall without backing drainage gravel.
- Don’t buy a house without gutters.
- Don’t buy a Zone 6 fountain for a Zone 4 yard.
- Don’t buy cheap concrete retaining wall block or patio pavers.
- Don’t buy cheap, rinky-dink plastic landscape edging.
- Don’t buy plants that are sitting on an asphalt parking lot or roadway.
- Don’t buy rubber mulch.
- Don’t by a house or town home ruled by the iron fist of a naïve, narrow-minded Property Owner’s Association without reading the fine print concerning gardens and landscaping.
- Don’t call boulders or stone, “rocks.”
- Don’t cut ornamental grasses down at season’s end.
- Don’t dig perennials and small shrubs using a shovel.
- Don’t divide shrubs.
- Don’t ever lay landscape cloth or weed barrier on the ground before planting.
- Don’t forget about planting for autumn leaf color.
- Don’t freak out in fall when your evergreens develop orange needles that drop off.
- Don’t go all nuts planting trees and shrubs this fall without submitting a soil test.
- Don’t hire a landscaper to build a boulder wall when boulder outcroppings will do.
- Don’t landscape to reflect suppressed childhood demons.
- Don’t lay landscaping fabric on the ground then apply mulch on top of it.
- Don’t leave short stumps at the trunk when pruning branches from trees.
- Don’t make your patio too small.
- Don’t mix concrete retaining wall block with natural stone.
- Don’t mow your lawn short in mid-summer.
- Don’t mulch your perennials with wood chips or shredded hardwood
- Don’t place boulders in your yard as if they were just dropped from the truck.
- Don’t plant a tree for Arbor Day.
- Don’t plant Japanese and European Barberries (Berberis thunbergii and Berberis vulgaris)
- Don’t plant short plants in tall containers.
- Don’t purchase and use those do-it-yourself pH kits sold at nurseries and hardware stores.
- Don’t purchase one of those fancy twist-nozzle, six-pattern water spray gizmos and think you have a watering wand for plants.
- Don’t seed a lawn as thick as most people seed a lawn.
- Don’t stake young trees at planting time.
- Don’t stick a wishing well in your yard just for the hell of it.
- Don’t think you’re saving money by landscaping with concrete products instead of natural stone.
- Don’t treat organic pesticides and fungicides as if they pose no danger to your health.
- Don’t try to tell me that the herbicide 2,4-D is dangerous because it is half the ingredient in Agent Orange.
- Don’t use salt or other forms of de-icers on stone patios and walkways.
- Don’t use standard nails and fasteners with the new treated wood.
- Don’t wait until May to contact a landscaper!
- Don’t wrap evergreens in burlap for winter protection.
- Please don’t E-mail the Renegade Gardener with a list of 15 questions.
- Please don’t include photo attachments when you e-mail the Renegade Gardener.
- Renegade Gardener on OKC-TV
- Unless a formal hedge, don’t control the height of deciduous shrubs by topping.